So I THINK...think....I've found a good niche for myself in a master's degree....drumroll please.....Organizational Leadership and Human Resources. (or MPA..pretty close)
This brings me to the original train of thought I had before beginning this post. Well....back that train up, it actually started with a minor mental spasm and complaint as to why I'm 27 years old and in the middle of man-ville and still haven't dated anyone for about two years. Maybe it's three now....I lose track of time sometimes. Anyway, this isn't a complaining type of post, but being that my single-hood has forced me into taking other paths of life (or at least this is the conclusion I am coming to--I can't stay in Provo forever and hang out with college students) I'm realizing why girls who are my age and still single are the way they are. Well, it isn't that we are putting marriage and family on the back burner for a career, not at all. It's more like, marriage and family isn't happening at ALL right now, so why not make the most of your life and continue on with more education and a higher paying career? It isn't about the money, but there's no way a person can buy a house on $10 an hour. (OK, I admit, if you aren't getting satisfaction from taking care of others, meaning--your husband and kids, you may as well get satisfaction of achieving success in a career.) There's no way an individual can get a car, finance an education, put money away for future endeavors (you know, kids' college, a mission, etc.) , save up for retirement--which lets face it, we all are going to end up doing at one point or another--without working for it. I don't have a husband that is supporting me (and even then it will be really difficult--if near impossible--to save for all of that on just one income in today's society--don't get me wrong, I don't want to work when my kids are growing up, at least not full-time. And I'm not a gold-digger.) And honestly, a huge part of me feels like I'm giving up on the whole marriage thing--maybe a little bit bitterly, but not really in a self-centered kind of hurt way, but more of a "well, I guess I just have to shift my focus" kind of thing while still having hope (which I must admit has been put on the way back burner....sigh..that's just it, you start to lose hope, but not your will to be in a happy situation.) OK let it be known I'm not having a pity-party, just stating the truth of why women, even women in the Church, may be shifting focus a little bit. What else are we supposed to do? I LOVE nurturing. I LOVE family. More than anything. I WANT to give my whole heart to someone and make their life amazing. But......its ok. Attention must be shifted, for everything there is a season. And now I suppose the Lord wants me to focus on other things, and that is ok. And I don't judge women who do that anymore. :)
So...I'm thinking seriously about moving back home to California, as I have been thinking this for a couple years now, but this time I'm serious....in August....staying home, being with family, working and saving money for grad school for a year.. and then going to grad school in either California, Arizona, or Texas. This is the plan. I am terrified beyond all reason. But what else am I to do??? If you have any more suggestions let me know. :) (PS...dating in San Fran from what I understand is virtually non-existent, but I don't see the situation as being any different than here....minus the social atmosphere....) Oh this is becoming a very tough decision!!