Man,
General Conference was so great, the parts I could watch at least! I feel bad for people who miss out on this feast!
One thing that came to my mind was the idea of Charity. I mean, a lot of things came to my mind, but when reading my scriptures today, I remembered
President Uchtdorf's talk on being judgmental. "Just stop", he said haha!
The scripture that made me remember this is found in Ether 12:33-35:
"And again, I remember that thou hast said that thou hast loved the world, even unto the laying down of thy life for the world, that thou mightest take it again to prepare a place for the children of men. And now I know that this love which thou hast had for the children of men is charity; wherefore, except men shall have charity they cannot inherit that place which thou hast prepared in the mansions of thy Father. Wherefore, I know by this thing which thou hast said, that if the Gentiles have not charity...that thou wilt prove them, and take away their talent, yea, even that which they have received, and give unto them who shall have more abundantly."
From my experiences, it is really hard to have any measure of love for someone if we are looking down on them or judging them or comparing ourselves to them and thinking we are either better or worse than them. Now, I am totally not perfect at that, but I can remember growing up with an inactive mom (meaning, she wasn't going to church or living right) I oftentimes got frustrated at her and told her she needed to stop doing the things she was doing. I knew in my heart this would make our family happier, because I felt such a wonderful and warm feeling when the missionaries, or other church members, would come by to visit us--and I knew they were serving the Lord and living right, because I could feel it in their presence, and I wanted that in my home always, and I also wanted a home where WE were out doing the Lord's work by sharing that feeling with others. Anyway, my immature attitude was to criticize my mother and to be judgmental of her. I thought, "well, I'm living right, and THEY are living right, so why is it so hard for HER to live right???" You can imagine my frustrations at church as well when I looked at other girls and boys my age and felt like they were so on top of it, so confident, so happy, so loving, so all-knowing about the gospel; and I was angry at my situation, blaming my lack thereof of these qualities on my mother (because if she was doing what she should, I would be happy right?? Not exactly complete correct thinking, as one major reason I was probably unhappy was because my attitude was terrible...)
I didn't understand her background or why she was bitter, and I didn't understand the concept of lack of
faith, because I was still a child and it just made sense to me that if we live right, we are happy (which is definitely true, but adulthood brings its challenges which sometimes make us question the lines between right and wrong and truth and error). I knew she came from a rough home, and so she questioned the truth and became resentful of God. But I didn't understand why. Knowing NOW that she did not have a good example of a good father at home, she probably believed that God was a man, thus, God somehow couldn't be trusted, nor could God really love her--and that got worse when she was making choices she knew she shouldn't make, because she thought, for certain, "There is no way God would even start to love me now. I've ruined it, if ever He would have loved me." (I only tell this story because my mom is very open about it :) )
I am glad to say my mother, after 30 years, has finally learned the true character of the Lord. She has learned to trust Him, she has learned that Satan would have us believe that we are not loved by Him or that we cannot pray or that we cannot change or repent, and that his way is not only easier, but more fun, thus, happier. He would make us think we have more control over our lives if we follow him instead of letting ourselves be led by the Lord and to do His ways.
My mom now serves happily in her ward, and she gives her whole heart to it. She's not perfect, but who is? :) I love her dearly. The Lord loves her dearly. If He didn't love each of us, He wouldn't have come down to this awful place, been treated like dirt, spit on, ridiculed often, abused in many ways, and STILL He gave up His life for us, in a most painful way, and STILL He reaches out to us, even after the fact. He wouldn't work with us every day if He didn't care. I promise He is there every day, calling to you. I promise He loves you, and that you can trust in Him, because His love is completely for you--there is no selfish motive behind it. And that is beautiful, and true, and everlasting. So what does that mean? It means, if our lives are not in order, if we are being stubborn or rebellious, "just stop it!" ;) Because there is real happiness in doing what we know is right, and in showing and feeling love and kindness and mercy to everyone we meet. (like I said, i'm totally not perfect in this ;) but it's worth working on!)
