School is going to be a great missionary opportunity, I think!

Tonight's class was kind of cool....

So we have to do these intense readings (at least for me they are intense, I have to read them several times to even get a little bit of what they are saying...but I'm kind of illiterate when it comes to the workings of the government...its too complicated for me!)  Anyways, we then come to class and we discuss what we got out of the readings. And we do that the entire 2.5 hours of class.

This was our first "discussion" class.  We talked about a lot of topics, but one that stood out to me was "how do you define corruption?"  One of the teacher's suggestions was "well, the question of right and wrong all depends on what society says" .  Wow....that sounds like a recipe for disaster in a society....yet too me, the answer is simple.  If someone is not living with integrity with the powers they have been given, they are being corrupt (acting corruptly?)  The class and the teacher brought up the question though of, How do you decide what is corrupt and what is not corrupt?  Hmm...Good question.  I raised my hand and, in a manner of speaking, said that I believe the problem is that this country has gotten so concerned with political correctness that we don't live by the same values anymore--that if you take a group of people, no one is going to decide what is right or what is wrong and enforce that on the entire group, because what if someone else believes differently?  The Christians believe in the 10 commandments, the Buddhists believe in the Golden Rule.....but we've left God completely out of our government, and if you take God out of it, you introduce only man-made alternatives that are so changeable and dependent on no foundation. Society isn't going to be a good determinant of what is right and wrong, especially as we come nearer and nearer to the Second Coming.

I wasn't that forward about God in my class, but when I tried to say it in a more simple and un-offensive way, a couple of students agreed with me and the teacher just said "well, its not always that black and white, but huh....interesting thought"  I felt the Spirit testify, and I hope the class felt it too--it seemed like there were some people who were affected by it, but maybe that was all in my head :)  I also felt reminded about how it is good to stand up for correct principles, and it strengthened my own beliefs in the importance of living according to the principles that Jesus Christ set forth long ago, no matter how many lies Satan tries to tell people who either believe in the Savior or who never had that same upbringing. Truth is truth, no matter the situation.

California Girl

Whelp...I am back in California.  Physically, at least.

It has been a little bit of a strange road, to be honest.  Right now I am living in 2 houses, and my stuff is piled up in my aunt and uncle's living room.  I am driving back and forth from the Modesto area to the bay area and it is tiring!  (but I am absolutely LOVING my time in San Francisco!!!  Love that city!!)  I have school in Stockton (which, by the way, is 45 minutes away from Modesto)....so I stay at my Aunt's house about half the week for school, then I drive back to the bay area for work in SF a couple days a week and stay at my dad's house.  He has an air mattress set up in his computer room for me that is taking over the whole floor space, which I feel way bad about...and my aunt has a spare room in her garage that she's letting my grandma's brother sleep in until he goes back to Ohio in a few weeks (but after that, it is mine), which means I am sneakily trying to shove things in the nooks and crannies of the room without getting into his space....

And I, consequentially, haven't settled in a ward yet. I've been to 3 different wards in the last 3 weeks.  Yuck.  I just have 2 more to go to and then I can pick out of them which one I want to have my records sent to.

I just want to say how grateful I am for my dad right now.  Coming out here, I had no job, only a small amount of money in my bank account, and suddenly, the battery light in my car has been on (so we changed the battery and it still comes on so we think its the alternator...), my tires are bald, my car is terribly misaligned, I have to RESIGN UP FOR CAR INSURANCE (because I changed states...come ON people, I already spent 350 on that!!! There goes another million bucks!!), my car gets a freakin ROCK thrown at its front windshield on the freeway, making a big splotch that will probably spread and crack my entire windshield (another 300 bucks), I have to also pay for registration in California (153 dollars) and get a CA driver's license (about $30), a smog check (60 bucks)....not to mention the fees that I'm about to be hit with loan fees and car payment fees and cell phone payment....

With all this stress I have been in over my head.  I go to pull out my credit card for the alignment and tires (about $540), and my dad says that he will pay for it.  AH!! I was literally in the hospital last week because of serious pains in my stomach that they think is an ulcer (which comes from stress) so this was such a relief to me (I was also scared I'd get hit with a huge emergency room bill, but due to my situation they gave me assistance and I don't have to pay for it yay!!)....I am so grateful for my dad, who is doing everything he can to help me out without taking away my autonomy. He got me a part time job at his work (granted, it isn't much, but its something....), he does so many little things for me like make me dinner and check up on me while I'm sleeping before he leaves for work...he changed my spark plugs for me and aired up my bike tires and went on a bikeride with me....he is such a great dad and so loving and kind to me, I am so grateful for him, especially at this time when I have felt so alone and all over the place and honestly, not super happy to be here...I don't know what I would do without my daddy. :)

Anyways this has turned into totally a complainer post, which I wasn't intending....

Something my professor said today in class was comforting to me, though. She seems to be quite the liberal (with, oddly enough, some conservative beliefs tied in there), and she said "You know, I was on this trip to Europe this summer. We were supposed to be at this conference, but the transportation situation got so mixed up due to a lack in communication, so we missed our flight, had to sleep in the airport, and then had to take a bus.  Then someone miscommunicated which city we were supposed to be in, so we drove about 5 hours out of the way, found out once we got there (already 2 days late) that it was the wrong city, so we turned around and made it on the final day of the conference....the Mayor checked up on us, and he found out that the bus we were originally supposed to be on got in a huge accident, and every person on the bus was injured.  So, you never know.  Things happen for a reason. It may be absolutely miserable in the process, but you never know what worse things could have happened had you been where you thought you were supposed to be."

Huh....maybe the Lord is aware of my situation after all and He sent this teacher to remind me of a very important lesson.  :)

Minnesota is AWESOME, Eh

I am totally loving this state.  It is green everywhere, and I am not talking a weird green, but big, bushy, leafy trees, beautiful rolling hills of leafy crops, and lakes everywhere....AH!!! So gorgeous!!!!And so much space!  It takes us about 30-45minutes to get anywhere, besides the local walmart. haha...

And the people are so down to earth and friendly!! I think I like this part of the country, seriously. I wouldn't mind settling in this part of the US somewhere.  Of course, it IS August....which means its probably the nicest time of year....haha!  I would NOT want to be here in the Winter, that is for sure! I have heard word that it gets 60 below here. NO thanks!  But I am not exactly in love with California either, sadly....its not my favorite place, besides the fact that most of my family is there. 

The reason I came out here is to support my sister and her husband as they went through the temple to be sealed together forever.  In our church, we believe that families can be together, FOREVER..:)  how cool is that???  But it has to be done in the right way by someone who has the Priesthood authority to do so, and the people involved have to be living their lives in such a way to be allowed to do it.  And once it is done, they have to continue to live their lives according to God's commandments, or else they will forfeit that eternal promise and covenant (that 2-way promise between God and them)Anyway, it was a beautiful day watching them get sealed, and when they included River (their 15 month old) and put her hand on top of theirs, oh it was so sweet.  I almost started to cry right there. I love that little girl and now she is going to be blessed more than I think any of us even comprehend.

I am having second thoughts about the MPA program, also.  I really do want to get my Master's degree...and I feel like if the economy was better this would be a perfect degree for me.....I am just worried about finding work with it. :/  I mean, I would love to just marry some dude who made enough money to support me and our children...honestly, that would be the best job ever.  I could spend time with my kids all day....though I know I would want something else to focus on also so that I can stay sane.  Not that kids aren't great....but I would need something to keep my mind occupied in other ways, keep a balance in life.  I was hoping that this degree would put me on the road to working until I start a family, and then provide a way to contribute myself and my abilities to my community.  So what I am going to do is go to classes for awhile and decide how I feel about it from there. I will talk to some of the administration and find out if this degree will be any good once I get out of there.  It isn't super expensive, but it does cost money still. I don't want to back out after all the work I put into getting here, but if it is not looking good I guess I may have to.  Oy, my stomach hurts just thinking about the unknown! 

Anyways, have a great day and I'll talk to you all later, eh!

Last Day at USH!

Today was my last day of work at the Utah State Hospital!  I can't even believe it, this is surreal to me.  I feel like I am going to work tomorrow like usual. Thank goodness I am not because it is 11:45 pm, my stomach has been killing me all day (what is the deal, geesh, its been doing this a LOT--of course I am sure working so many hours doesn't help...), and I am just beat!  I worked 16 hours today, and I am so happy I got to end my stint at USH on my favorite unit of all time: Children's!  

When the UND (the big boss there) found out it was my last day, she went above and beyond (she had already stayed there several extra hours beyond her normal shift), drove to the Cocoa Bean, and bought me a Nutter Butter Cupcake!  So delicious, never ever had it before, but it was so good! Who could make a cupcake taste like a nutter butter cookie??!  Well, they did it..

Anyways that was very nice of her, and she kind of has a reputation of being involved in kicking several long-term employees off of the unit...ahem..scary....but she said that if I ever needed a reference letter or anything, just let her know.  Sweet!  Way nice of her.  

I admit, I am really, really nervous about this whole California thing. After living in Utah for so long, I guess I have grown to appreciate it.  I don't think I want to stay in Utah forever or anything, or raise my family here, but I don't think I really want to raise my family in California, either. I love that state for its beauty. It has a lot of fun things to do.  But the culture there, and the lack of morals, and the economic mess....I just don't feel like its a good choice.  My whole family is there, though, which is the only reason I would consider staying there. I guess I will come to that bridge someday. 

Anyway, I am kind of glad I am not going to be working there anymore....It's been good, but man, it wears on you having to take care of people all day.  (Not that it isn't rewarding....but it is also stressful. My tummy is feeling better already.....)

Byeeee!! 

A Belated Post...

I swear, I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago, but it didn't SAVE, dang it!!

Anyways, one more week in Utah. I can't believe it! I feel like I am just going on vacation for a few days and will be coming back...I am totally in denial!

Let's see, what has happened in the last month......

1. Ashley's Bridal Shower......complete with a BYU Police Officer showing up!! HA!  "I'm sorry officer, it got a little crazy!"  I guess we set off some alarm with the door being held open..oops....

Can I say I love these girls?? OK well I just did, so get over it if you don't like it....Lisa, on the left, is so FUN.  She's one of those people who never over-thinks things and goes through life with a smile on her face.  She served a mission in BARBADOS...hello lucky....and the reason she told me she struggled with choosing to marry Grant (her NOW husband) (after they had only been dating a few week)s...when we had our late-night chats she said she loved going Latin dancing and she loved flirting with the men there! HAHA!  But then she said she realized that was a stupid reason, and now she is the happiest girl ever!  I miss having her around  :)  She kept me smiling and not taking life so seriously :) 

And Ashley....she is just amazing in so many ways as well!  She's one of those people who can walk in a room and tell a total stranger to their face that they are acting like an idiot, "but I love you anyways, just know that what you are doing is not OK."  And they LISTEN!  She could reach any of the girls that I sent her to when we worked together in Relief Society. She teaches such wonderful lessons, not only by precept, but by example.  She's also getting married this month!  

2. They must have talked about me in Ward Counsel, because all of a sudden, every committee was asking me to teach for them. I taught in Relief Society, and the following week I taught in Gospel Doctrine, and was also asked to teach the Temple class the same week (which obviously wasn't possible....) I am NOT complaining, though, because I have felt totally absent from this ward since I broke up with Peter and since I was the Relief Society President before I was made the Ward Directory co-person (which calling only lasts about a month, then you are just sitting around) I felt really happy to teach, and studying and preparing these lessons helped to strengthen my own faith, which I have felt has been struggling a little bit, so I am grateful for things that help to bolster it. 

3. The Temple. This week is my last week being a temple worker at the Provo temple. I have worked there now for 4 years and 4 months!  I have loved it so much. I don't know what I am going to do with myself not being a temple worker anymore!  It has been my life, my breath from week to week. It has really boueyed my soul.  OH man, if you don't go to the temple often (however you define that), you are really missing out.....I know it isn't always possible, believe me, but if it IS, and if you do it more frequently (within reason) and make a commitment to go a certain amount (whatever your goal..maybe even increasing your goal if possible), you will notice a huge difference in your life.  Not even kidding...I dare you to try it! and you learn something every time you go in there.  It's like spending more time with God, without other distractions.  Even by just sitting there, it refines the soul as you ponder and absorb the Spirit that is in the temple.  Satan isn't an influence in there, so you have so much more clarity, so much more of a good feeling.  OH its so beautiful, please go more often!  I was so glad Ashley asked me to work her shift for her a couple of weeks ago, I needed it :) 

4. I get to see this little girl SO SOON!!! YESSS!!!!  Courtney bought me a plane ticket to come see them on the 16th through the 21st..and I am so excited to see them!  :)  Maybe i am weird but I feel like a second mom or sister to this little girl....there is something special about being an aunt! I think me and Riv are kindred spirits. :)