My Life at the Utah State Hospital...

On one of many watches....and that is a patient bed.  They are bolted to the floor and equipped with holes in the sides to hook restraints to, if needed.  Don't worry, they do get a mattress...its basically a dense piece of foam covered in vinyl.  They are pretty sturdy, dont worry. :) 

Ha!  One of the girls painted my fingers....I think she was intending to make them look as crazy as possible....

Sometimes it gets a little bit boring and you have to do whatever necessary to stay awake....haha

And sometimes this just happens!!

Low speed limits for safety, you never know what patients are going to do!

Sometimes we get to go on fun field trips!  This was from the Colonial Days thing in downtown Provo.  Pretty cool!

I just loved this saying from the minute I saw it.  It's liberating to the patients, and really to all of us, to realize that we are who we are, and if we can just accept it and rejoice in it, the whole world belongs to us. :)  

Well, I don't take many pictures at work, because obviously I can't due to patient privacy...but maybe I'll try to get some more and show ya!  (anything legal, that is ha)

To Do in the Next Few Years....

Alright!  To Do:

*Get RN degree

*Get a PhD in Family Studies/Family Therapy

*Become a virtuoso clarinetist--one of those people who, when people listen, they get sucked in and say "oh my gosh..oh my freakin gosh...that was freakin AMAZING!"

*Travel all over the world

*Make a lot of money so I CAN travel all over the world...

*Get a Master's degree...

*Learn Italian

*Learn Spanish

*Um...find my future man and have a family

*Be the most amazing mom ever....not comparatively, just, most amazing to my husband and kids and to the Lord

*Build a wonderful family life

*Be healthy, eat lots of vegetables and fruits and whole grains and salmon..yum

*save up to move home to California in April

*Keep up with all of my family members and their lives and be a good influence and a good sister and a good cousin and a good niece and good granddaughter and good daughter.....

*Get a motorcycle license

*Get a new car

*Always be reading a good book

Sometimes I wonder how I am going to get all this done in the next few years.....

Life is so short, so very short, and I think sometimes about all the things I want to DO with my life, and it gets a little bit overwhelming, because I have all these desires, and while I am alive and here living, I want to experience so many things, learn everything there is to learn, and then when I am trying to learn something and it doesn't come quickly, I get discouraged--either that, or I get mediocre at that one thing I'm trying to learn, and then move on to something else instead of cultivating that one thing.  Do you ever do that?  And then I get impatient, thinking, Well, I have so much I want to do, I need to move on to the next thing!  What has happened to my stick-to-it-ness, like I had in my youth?  I used to spend all my time cultivating talents, learning, doing homework, etc., and then when I become an adult, I realize how imbalanced my life was as a child, and I try to do lots MORE things......and yet, I lack that characteristic that enabled me to break things down more and more and focus and develop, and then develop more in that one groove of life, and enjoy the depth and breadth of that particular groove.  

I mean, think about it.  I graduated TWO years ago.  TWO!  And what have I done since?  Well.....lets see..I worked as a custodian...I dated one guy....wait, one and a half.....I worked as a waitress.....I DID take the GRE at least.....Where did time go?  And when I start raising a family, will I even have the time to keep on learning and experiencing life?  

Oh my gosh...maybe I've hit the wild years of my life!  I'm a self-centered, non-committal, young single adult who is sowing my wild oats!!!  GASPPP!!!!!  AND LIFE WILL END IF I HAVE A FAMILY!!!!  (just kidding....? sort of?? oh NO!!!) Maybe I'm scared of that!  Maybe, just maybe, I have this awful deep-down idea that having a family will suck my very life away...and that I will become boring and dull and always stuck in a rut and get frumpy and grumpy and my husband will just despise me after ten years.......OH NOOO!!!

Do you ever feel like that?  Maybe I just have my priorities out of whack....lol

Just a thought for the day :)  

Music and Hauntings....

Well, more like I GOT MY CLARINET AND IM SO EXCITED!!!!...and we had our Ward Halloween Party, which was surprisingly really, really fun, very well planned, and everyone that came had a very creative costume!  I'm not even exaggerating.  

Thats me on the left...that wig is ridiculous (and four bucks from Savers) but just try to guess what I am...and then there's Kleresa in the middle (her mom made that flapper costume...it was really, really cute!  She looks gorgeous!)  and Shantel on the right in the red skirt.  (Can you guess who they are??)  

(caution...some graphic images below!)

(somehow this doesn't surprise me coming from Brett..ha)

It was supposed to be a "date" activity, which I think was a great idea, because we all had our costumes in pairs.  There was little bo beep and her sheep, Sid from Toy Story and a mangled toy, two teddy bears, a pair of angels, two crayons of different colors, two hippies with home made tye-died outfits from head to foot,  an "anti-prohibitionist" and his girl...I could go on!  It was amazing. In order to choose a date, we did not do the traditional "will you go to the dance with me" thing, oh no.  The guys put a tie in a giant bucket, and the Activities Committee went around with the bucket and had the girls pick an anonymous tie.  And that was the young man we paired up with.  Creative! 

The party turned into a huge dance, and we were all squished into the corner of the room dancing our little hearts out. I wished my date enjoyed dancing, but he didn't, and so he just sat on the couch with another guy who didn't like dancing while a bunch of people stood up and played.  I felt kind of bad for leaving him there, sorry Jordan.....I think he was happy to go when I said I had to get up early...

We created graham-cracker houses with neon frosting and candy and graham crackers, we colored spooky-ish halloween pictures, and ate some delicious food...shhh dont tell Carriage Cove.....

Anyway, I hope you all are having a great Halloween and enjoying all the fun.  :)  May you rest in peace tonight...

Fall Colors!

I went on a bikeride through the Provo River Trail today....Sorry Dallen don't kill me...ha...but anyways, here you go!  I wish I would have gone about 3 weeks earlier when the colors were brighter, but they are still gorgeous!  Enjoy! (PS these are totally not tampered with, just straight from the camera!) 

I'm going to miss this about Provo!  :)