So lately I have been really frustrated with the way things are not going how I want them to be going with work. I have my bachelor's degree, and really really want to use it to bless the lives of people. Is it that hard to ask for a job that will help me to do that? Why is it that other people can find a good job in a few weeks and I have been looking since February and still have not found a place that wants to hire me? Well, I am working at Aspen Grove, so at least I am working, but still--it can be defeating to be told over and over that you are not wanted.
So I have been thinking about this, the whole why me thing, and what I am doing wrong, which is probably a good thing to think about because obviously it is something right? Lack of interviewing skills, maybe I need a better resume...who knows. But through all of this, though I am still looking for another job, it seems that my attitude has been changing.
Lately at work things have seemed a little bit easier, too. It is a very physical job and I think I am getting stronger so I can do more things a lot faster--plus I am learning the ropes so it is getting better. Still not my dream job. But Along those lines--this does have a point I promise--I was just thinking tonight about how sometimes we aren't given what we want. Imagine that. But, what HAVE I been given? Well, I have been given this job. I am able to associate with the head honchos a lot so maybe I can learn something from them. I am working with a lot of younger people who still have zest for life and are not jaded from all kinds of bad experiences or failed relationships or whatever. ;) I feel like my attitude is slowly changing and I am coming to appreciate hard work a lot more. The days are going by faster and I can come home knowing that I worked hard and got a lot accomplished, and not only that, but I am hopefully not getting any bigger from sitting around all day. haha....Anyway so I think sometimes when we are frusterated that things in our life are not meeting up to our expectations, we just have to throw up our hands and remember what we HAVE been given, remember that we can't really control everything and make it go the way we want it to go, and instead, look at what the Lord has given you and stop being so prideful and be grateful for it and USE it--spend the life you have been given the way the Lord intends for you to spend it. (I think I might contact one of the head honchos and ask him if I can learn some administration things from him) Enjoy it while it is here. Put forth all of your efforts to see that each day and each task and each person is given your best. Oh how selfish and short minded we can be! Remember your blessings! :) Look for the things that God has given you, look for them and see them as tools. Then build your life accordingly.
9.23.2008
9.11.2008
Thoughts on Women and Our Crazy Emotions
So I have been dwelling on this subject periodically the last couple of months. I have had several guy friends who said that they are not so sure they will be able to deal with their wife having the typical emotions that girls have. Now, being a girl, and being one to not want to put burdens on people around me, I have been observing my own emotions lately and trying to determine if I am highly emotional. Hmm....well each of my roommates, when I ask them if I am emotional, say "well, you have your days.." What? I thought I was totally stoic. Guess not!
Then I start thinking, Oh man. I dont want to be emotional! That is so hard to live with! I mean, I don't cry very often, it is true, but I guess there are other emotions. Nor do I get mad very often if at all!
OK so anyway.....on to what I was going to say in the first place. OK, first of all, we girls don't have to feel guilty about having emotions. Why? Look at this scripture:
"And also it grieveth me that I must use so much boldness of speech concerning you, before your wives and your children, many of whose feelings are exceedingly tender and chaste and delicate before God, which thing is pleasing unto God..." (Jacob 2:7)
God made us like that. It is pleasing to Him! It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with the men, either. Men are wonderful in that they teach us to learn to be more temperate in our emotions--we are also commanded to be temperate in all things. And we are wonderful to the men--we teach them the beautiful things of life that come when our hearts are tender and soft. Not that guy's can't do that, but women have special gifts of compassion and charity and discernment that are given to us to be better mothers. Men, if you had our emotions, then you probably would not fare as well in the business world, because it can be brutal out there, let's face it. Not to say that girls cant do it, but if we do, then we tend to have to callous ourselves.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the topic. I hope that the guys out there understand that I am not at all against men, I love them dearly and am grateful for their influence in my life. I am just sad when I see men who don't appreciate the women for all they do have to offer and who get impatient with our emotions! Remember guys--YOU don't have to deal with our emotions. WE do. Let US deal with our own emotions. That is our job, and it is a big enough job as it is. YOUR job is NOT to make it better or to deal with it, but rather to BE OUR FRIEND. That is all that we need.
Girls, you are amazing. Remember your potential! And guys, you are also very amazing! Work together, learn to capitalize on each other's natural talents and spiritual gifts, and you make the best team!
Then I start thinking, Oh man. I dont want to be emotional! That is so hard to live with! I mean, I don't cry very often, it is true, but I guess there are other emotions. Nor do I get mad very often if at all!
OK so anyway.....on to what I was going to say in the first place. OK, first of all, we girls don't have to feel guilty about having emotions. Why? Look at this scripture:
"And also it grieveth me that I must use so much boldness of speech concerning you, before your wives and your children, many of whose feelings are exceedingly tender and chaste and delicate before God, which thing is pleasing unto God..." (Jacob 2:7)
God made us like that. It is pleasing to Him! It doesn't mean that there is something wrong with the men, either. Men are wonderful in that they teach us to learn to be more temperate in our emotions--we are also commanded to be temperate in all things. And we are wonderful to the men--we teach them the beautiful things of life that come when our hearts are tender and soft. Not that guy's can't do that, but women have special gifts of compassion and charity and discernment that are given to us to be better mothers. Men, if you had our emotions, then you probably would not fare as well in the business world, because it can be brutal out there, let's face it. Not to say that girls cant do it, but if we do, then we tend to have to callous ourselves.
Anyway, those are my thoughts on the topic. I hope that the guys out there understand that I am not at all against men, I love them dearly and am grateful for their influence in my life. I am just sad when I see men who don't appreciate the women for all they do have to offer and who get impatient with our emotions! Remember guys--YOU don't have to deal with our emotions. WE do. Let US deal with our own emotions. That is our job, and it is a big enough job as it is. YOUR job is NOT to make it better or to deal with it, but rather to BE OUR FRIEND. That is all that we need.
Girls, you are amazing. Remember your potential! And guys, you are also very amazing! Work together, learn to capitalize on each other's natural talents and spiritual gifts, and you make the best team!
9.05.2008
Grateful for Fall
So I have been enjoying my drive up to work every day! I am grateful to have a job, and especially a job in a place that I love to be--Aspen Grove! It is a bit of a drive, but every day I feel renewed and refreshed as I feel I am engulfed in magnificent creations! It isn't the most glamorous job--today I mowed lawns, cleaned bathrooms, and assembled lamps (?!) but at least I am learning fun things right? I even got the lawn mower stuck in the fence and it took me 20 minutes to get it out. haha. Besides getting almost attacked by a few snakes, hovered on by many bees (which I am terrified of, and oftentimes have to remind myself to just be still like my dad used to tell me!...but this will be good right, maybe I will get over my fear and then I won't have kids who are terrified of bees), developing man-hands I think....or at least they will be soon, and having lots of fun with cleaners, I have been able to be outside and learn a lot of great things. I enjoy having a walkie talkie, and its great that even the camp director works right next to us--it's not like there is a hierarchy there. I mean, of course there are leaders and they tell us what to do, but they do exactly the same things that we do. I had no idea how much work it took to run a camp!
Don't worry, I am not planning on doing this the rest of my life. But at least for now as I prepare for Grad School and need to refill my bank account, it is a job, and I am grateful to have it for now. Let me know if you hear of anything else too ;)
Don't worry, I am not planning on doing this the rest of my life. But at least for now as I prepare for Grad School and need to refill my bank account, it is a job, and I am grateful to have it for now. Let me know if you hear of anything else too ;)
Solitude
I have always been one to appreciate solitude, but lately I think it has been more important to me. I believe that everyone needs time to just stop and be alone for awhile. It isn't a depressing thing and doesn't mean there is something wrong, but rather, it is a time to rejuvenate ourselves and come closer to the Lord. Even the Savior spent much of his time alone, whether in the wilderness or on a mountain. It is hard to give of ourselves when we are not sure who we are anymore--sometimes we just need to get away from people and connect with ourselves and with the Spirit.
And I've also been thinking a lot lately about the balance of giving of ourselves and giving to ourselves. Those who are trying to live more Christ-like lives tend to try to focus their energies on the people around them, especially in sacrificing and having charity. This idea extends to other people in our ward, other people in our family, and to our spouse. I like the quote found from "How to avoid marrying a jerk" that I heard in Institute the other night: "Find your life by centering on yourself and you will lose it. Lose your life by centering on your partner and you will find it."
I think there is a notion where couples get worried about how much time they are supposed to spend on or with their spouse, and how much time they are supposed to spend on doing things that they want to do by themselves. As I have learned in many classes as well as in Church, it is important to pay attention to the needs of one another, yet it is also vitally important to spend time doing things that we love to do and cultivating our own talents and not expecting ourselves or our spouse to devote every second of the day on the other person. This way, when you do come back together, you will both have something more to give to each other and to the relationship. This is not to say that we are supposed to just drop them and be selfish, or go out and date other people, or put yourself in tempting situations or situations that make it appear that you are single, nor does it mean that we shouldn't expect our spouse to care about us always. After all, as we have heard several times "Love is the anxious concern for the well-being of our companion" (or something like that..I'm not sure who said it). But healthy marital relationships are a delicate balance of autonomy and dependency. I for one love spending time doing my own activities (whether alone or with others)--exercising, reading, learning, observing--and when I take this time for myself, I have a lot more energy to give to the people that I care about. Sometimes I even find solitude when I am with someone or in a crowd of people--I just get quiet and reflective, and it doesn't mean I am mad or upset. I always appreciate friends who don't mind my quiet moods and who I can just sit and be quiet with and still feel like we have connected even though we haven't said a word. I'm sure we all appreciate that!
And I am not just making this up out of my own head, but these are things that I have learned at BYU. Good luck in your quest to find the right balance! Remember that each couple will need time to adjust to this, and that is why the first few years of marriage are sometimes kind of rocky--it doesn't mean you are with the wrong person, or that they don't love you because they just need some time to do their own thing, but just have patience and communicate and things will work out eventually. Don't worry, you still love each other. ;)
And I've also been thinking a lot lately about the balance of giving of ourselves and giving to ourselves. Those who are trying to live more Christ-like lives tend to try to focus their energies on the people around them, especially in sacrificing and having charity. This idea extends to other people in our ward, other people in our family, and to our spouse. I like the quote found from "How to avoid marrying a jerk" that I heard in Institute the other night: "Find your life by centering on yourself and you will lose it. Lose your life by centering on your partner and you will find it."
I think there is a notion where couples get worried about how much time they are supposed to spend on or with their spouse, and how much time they are supposed to spend on doing things that they want to do by themselves. As I have learned in many classes as well as in Church, it is important to pay attention to the needs of one another, yet it is also vitally important to spend time doing things that we love to do and cultivating our own talents and not expecting ourselves or our spouse to devote every second of the day on the other person. This way, when you do come back together, you will both have something more to give to each other and to the relationship. This is not to say that we are supposed to just drop them and be selfish, or go out and date other people, or put yourself in tempting situations or situations that make it appear that you are single, nor does it mean that we shouldn't expect our spouse to care about us always. After all, as we have heard several times "Love is the anxious concern for the well-being of our companion" (or something like that..I'm not sure who said it). But healthy marital relationships are a delicate balance of autonomy and dependency. I for one love spending time doing my own activities (whether alone or with others)--exercising, reading, learning, observing--and when I take this time for myself, I have a lot more energy to give to the people that I care about. Sometimes I even find solitude when I am with someone or in a crowd of people--I just get quiet and reflective, and it doesn't mean I am mad or upset. I always appreciate friends who don't mind my quiet moods and who I can just sit and be quiet with and still feel like we have connected even though we haven't said a word. I'm sure we all appreciate that!
And I am not just making this up out of my own head, but these are things that I have learned at BYU. Good luck in your quest to find the right balance! Remember that each couple will need time to adjust to this, and that is why the first few years of marriage are sometimes kind of rocky--it doesn't mean you are with the wrong person, or that they don't love you because they just need some time to do their own thing, but just have patience and communicate and things will work out eventually. Don't worry, you still love each other. ;)