Contemplating Pride

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about pride, especially self righteousness.

Growing up in the Church was something I always wanted when I was a kid. I was always trying to get my family to come to Church, but they never really budged. My mom always felt like the people at church would judge her. She smelled like cigarette smoke, and she tried sitting by people and they would make faces or make comments. Even if they didn't make comments to her directly, they would say something in their lesson that she immediately imagined was directed towards her. So, she just stopped going. And hence, we didn't go either, not by personal choice.

Now, I am not saying that my mom was in the right. I am guessing that a lot of her experiences were because of a guilty conscience. But the lesson still remains for the rest of us--are we looking around at the people around us and getting confidence in ourselves because we don't have the same sin that they have? Are we measuring our own righteousness against the righteousness of others? Where does our confidence come from? It really goes both ways--whether you are from the "bottom" looking up or from the "top" looking down.

I think I have been thinking a lot about this lately because I have seen it in myself, and I really don't like it, so I hope anyone reading this doesn't think I am judging everyone else around me. I hope and pray that I can figure this one out and that the Lord will help me to overcome this!