Boys, I will let you in on a little secret. Girls bond with each other...and by bonding I mean open up the feelings of love and care for each other....by confiding in one another, and having those kinds of conversations about their feelings and whats really going on inside that they only share with those they trust.
Girls, I will let you in on a little secret. Guys bond with each other by doing stuff together.
Ok, so can you see where this can get confusing? Boy opens up to girl, talks to her about his innermost secrets, wishes, and confides in her about things. He might tell her she is a great listener, that she is a great person, etc...each boy is different. The result: Girl starts to fall in love with boy. Boy doesn't really think about it because he isn't seeing this as a bonding experience. So boy never asks girl out, he just confides in her all the time, because boy does not find interest in this girl. Girl, however, thinks boy is totally wanting to start a relationship....so she hangs on for a long time and loves him more and more each day.
Boys, if you aren't interested in the girl, it might be good to not be confiding in her so much, because what will happen is she will feel like she is being led on. She will get hurt very deeply, because her emotions have been open up so much--she has opened up her heart to you a great deal, and because you are opening up your heart to her she will think you reciprocate her feelings. This is true at all times...and especially in marriage. "Cleave to your spouse and to none else"--that doesn't mean just physically, but cleave to her emotionally as well. Let the girl you LOVE be the one you confide in, please don't be a heartbreaker. And you will for sure break your wife's heart if you aren't confiding in her but in someone else. (And from what I have heard, it goes both ways--girls AND guys...so girls please be careful not to confide in the BOYS you aren't interested in...)
On the flip side, this is a great way to build the love and trust in a relationship with your spouse. I think that's why women are always wanting men to to share their feelings--it makes the woman feel closer to him, and makes her feel secure in the sense that he really loves her because he trusts her enough to open up to her. Think of how much more pleasant she will be if she has that assurance. And girls, go and DO things with your hubby (or boyfriend), that will make him feel more bonded to you. :) Like, curl up to him on the couch while he is watching his football. Or go fly fishing with him. Who knows. :)
good thoughts shayna! def people should be up front with eachother on the regaurds of interest. even from the start and through out the friendship. xo sarrah
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ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say that I have thought about what you said and it makes sense. I will use that bit of advice for the future. I guess this is why I tend to like the girls I spend time with.