How to Cure Hiccups

So here I am, at work, answering phones at a busy escrow office, and all the big wigs decide to call when something awful happens...

I such in a HUGE gulp of air...and let out a loud squeel.  I'm not even that kind of a hiccuper, but it was huge, uncontrollable, painful, wretching of the stomach muscles.  You know what I am talking about.  And the more I tried to make them go away, the drinking of water upside down, the downing of sugar, the holding the breath until you almost pass out...well.  Nothing worked. They got BIGGER.  And then...people started calling on the phone. And I had to answer it, because it was my job, as the phone answerer.  It sounded like this:

"Thank you for (gulp, squeel, hiccup...) calling First American Title, how may I direct your (deep breath, contracting stomach muscles, wretch, squeel), call?" 

By this time the whole office was concerned.  "Did you try (insert remedy here)...???"

"How about _____________??" 

And then we all broke into laughter, because what else could we do??

Well, I found this hiccup cure today online at this site--and it totally worked!  Because, they came back....the terror!!!! AAAH!!! 

1.  Start by inhaling through your mouth until your lungs feel full and you cant inhale any more.  Keep the air in there, dont let it out yet. 

2.  Swallow.  You wont actually be swallowing anything, but without swallowing the whole thing doesn't work. Don't exhale yet.

3.  Breathe in more air...keep it in there.

4. Swallow again! 

5.  Repeat steps 3 and 4 about 3 or 4 times...when you think you can't swallow anymore, do it again.  You can do it!


It totally works.  The end.