To Do in the Next Few Years....

Alright!  To Do:

*Get RN degree

*Get a PhD in Family Studies/Family Therapy

*Become a virtuoso clarinetist--one of those people who, when people listen, they get sucked in and say "oh my gosh..oh my freakin gosh...that was freakin AMAZING!"

*Travel all over the world

*Make a lot of money so I CAN travel all over the world...

*Get a Master's degree...

*Learn Italian

*Learn Spanish

*Um...find my future man and have a family

*Be the most amazing mom ever....not comparatively, just, most amazing to my husband and kids and to the Lord

*Build a wonderful family life

*Be healthy, eat lots of vegetables and fruits and whole grains and salmon..yum

*save up to move home to California in April

*Keep up with all of my family members and their lives and be a good influence and a good sister and a good cousin and a good niece and good granddaughter and good daughter.....

*Get a motorcycle license

*Get a new car

*Always be reading a good book

Sometimes I wonder how I am going to get all this done in the next few years.....

Life is so short, so very short, and I think sometimes about all the things I want to DO with my life, and it gets a little bit overwhelming, because I have all these desires, and while I am alive and here living, I want to experience so many things, learn everything there is to learn, and then when I am trying to learn something and it doesn't come quickly, I get discouraged--either that, or I get mediocre at that one thing I'm trying to learn, and then move on to something else instead of cultivating that one thing.  Do you ever do that?  And then I get impatient, thinking, Well, I have so much I want to do, I need to move on to the next thing!  What has happened to my stick-to-it-ness, like I had in my youth?  I used to spend all my time cultivating talents, learning, doing homework, etc., and then when I become an adult, I realize how imbalanced my life was as a child, and I try to do lots MORE things......and yet, I lack that characteristic that enabled me to break things down more and more and focus and develop, and then develop more in that one groove of life, and enjoy the depth and breadth of that particular groove.  

I mean, think about it.  I graduated TWO years ago.  TWO!  And what have I done since?  Well.....lets see..I worked as a custodian...I dated one guy....wait, one and a half.....I worked as a waitress.....I DID take the GRE at least.....Where did time go?  And when I start raising a family, will I even have the time to keep on learning and experiencing life?  

Oh my gosh...maybe I've hit the wild years of my life!  I'm a self-centered, non-committal, young single adult who is sowing my wild oats!!!  GASPPP!!!!!  AND LIFE WILL END IF I HAVE A FAMILY!!!!  (just kidding....? sort of?? oh NO!!!) Maybe I'm scared of that!  Maybe, just maybe, I have this awful deep-down idea that having a family will suck my very life away...and that I will become boring and dull and always stuck in a rut and get frumpy and grumpy and my husband will just despise me after ten years.......OH NOOO!!!

Do you ever feel like that?  Maybe I just have my priorities out of whack....lol

Just a thought for the day :)