Coming Back to Myself.....

Not that this is a post all about me.  But kind of it is, I hope whoever reading it can apply it to their own lives, that is why I talk about my life....not to get attention for myself but hopefully to help someone else out there. :)

So, if you've been watching at all, and I don't expect everyone knows all my business or anything, but basically its been a TON of transitions in like a 6 month period.  I was supposed to get married in August, but broke it off at the very end of May.  Decided to move to California last minute (sort of, I had always kept it as a back-up plan...), started school, desperately in need of a better-paying job, moved in with family after being away for 6 plus years on my own....Got here, and everything is falling apart....Christamae is dying, Aunt Mona is dying. Uncle Eric just passed away last week unexpectedly.  It's been crazy....completely out of my control.

I've been going to my ward here in San Francisco and honestly I feel so weird going to a new ward, I dont know ANYONE, I am all extremely shy about getting to know people and don't really have any friends.   I then somehow start hanging out with someone who is a totally kind and thoughtful person, patient, and here I am, totally reeling and freaking out from this last break-up, not feeling like I like who I am anymore, as before I was always the level-headed, patient, kind one that got things done...and I feel like my worst side came out with this last boy.  I mean, I do NOT like who I was with him...and so naturally I start freaking out on this other guy.  He's so nice though....I mean, who knows what will happen but I am grateful that he is, just by his kindness and sincerity and humility, helping me to feel more like my old self and less combative.  I feel like I've got a good friend on my side. And I also realized that I wasn't putting any effort into being a good friend to people in my ward.  (Thanks, RS Presidency, for teaching a lesson last Sunday on making people feel welcome. Just what I needed. :) )

However, i do believe the Lord puts people and experiences in our lives for a reason.  I am grateful for trials because through that relationship, I felt like I had to face some demons in myself.  I felt like it forced me to learn to communicate and to be aware of my own heart.  It also got me interested in being more aware of the world around me, and essentially pushed me into getting my MPA instead of just floating through life blissfully unawares.  Man, its amazing how well the Lord knows us.

 I hope I can keep growing into who He needs me to be, especially in these last days. I am a firm believer that it is indeed the last days, and that our children are going to witness the coming of the Savior maybe even before they become parents.  I believe that our generation will witness it.  No doubt about that.  I hope I can be ready.  And I want to see all my friends there too.  "No Empty Chairs" in the Celestial Kingdom.  Love you all!!