Confidence.

Growing up, I was always that kid who shrunk in the corners and let everyone else shine their light away, thinking they were attention hogs, and that if I were to do the same thing I would be shunned by everyone around me because, lets face it, I am prettymuch a dork and oftentimes worried how I came across to other people, and what if I were to make a mistake--which was inevitable given my inherent lack of social skills, or "coolness" as it was called back in the 90's. :)

Well, I am here to tell you, as a 26 year old woman, I still have that lurking fear, however, it is definitely a lot less prevalent as I have learned that life is so much more full and enjoyable when I stop thinking so much about pleasing the people around me in the attitude of gaining acceptance. Because, lets face it, there will ALWAYS be a critic out there, and it isn't my problem that they are that way, it is their own problem, and if they are going to think those things then they are going to have a very unpleasant life.

One summer long ago, me and this boy broke up. That is one long story, but given my very reticent personality and desire to please everyone, combined with his rough edges and sharp tongue, that relationship ended. I eventually found myself coming back to BYU and not caring a lick about what anyone thought because for a year and a half I had been told all the things that were wrong with me and I had been walking on egg shells. Now, I do not tell this story as a downer, but as a GREAT lesson that I felt I gained from it. I moved to Provo and found myself in an amazing ward with great leaders. My bishop asked me one day, "It's hard for you to get out there and talk to people, isn't it?" (I was still the same person, but now with an attidude haha) "Yes," point blank, it terrified me. "I have a challenge for you," he said. "Reach Out."

That's it, that is all it took. I took his challenge to heart. I started reaching out with little baby steps, talking to the girl next to me at church, telling so and so her shoes were cute, etc. As I began focusing less and less on myself and more and more on others, I found a great confidence in my ability to interact with people, and not only that, I found that people actually enjoyed being around me. And I found that I enjoyed being around them, as well, and didn't want to hole myself up in my room anymore. I was actually happy, and realized how depressed I had been. My life finally took on new meaning, and just by those two little words, I feel like my entire perspective of others has changed.

I believe this is a quote from Elder Holland:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

I promise you that as you take the opportunity every day to "reach out", that you won't have to fear anymore, because your motives are purely to bless the lives of others by being an instrument in God's hands. Seek for His help as you do this. I don't like to sound preachy, but this really is the truth, and I know I have a lot of shy friends out there. As you reach out, you gain more of a realization that you can do great things, and as you keep pushing yourself forward in reaching out, you can accomplish those great dreams you have that maybe you feel you are inadequate to accomplish. You have so much to offer the world, now get out there and be something for someone! :)