8.23.2013

Keeping a Youthful Spirit

I am a nanny, and as such, I spend a lot of time with kids. In fact, even after I leave the kids, I end up spending time ON the kids. In fact, today, I spent an hour scrubbing out the backseat of my car because my step-sister needed a ride, and she stuck her finger in something unknown and sticky....disgusting.


I LOVE my car, and keeping it clean is no joke. I also love my quiet time....and I love to put my music on the station that I like....and I love keeping my clothes decently in good shape, and all sorts of fantastic things that kids tend to...well....destroy.  The first month on the job, after C climbed all over my car and wiped his melted-on-peanut-butter-and-chocolate, gooey, sticky, Reese's Peanut Butter Cup fingers ALL over my beige, pristine car seats...even in the front....well...it was time to settle for the cheap-o Hawaiian seat covers that we all avoid in college. Seriously?? Dang you!!!



As I was coming home from my Grandpa's funeral today (Oh Grandpa, I miss you already...) I was reflecting.  What is it about becoming an adult that makes us grumpy, that makes us put up all kinds of walls, and that basically sucks the life right out of us?  Why do we get into our comfortable little places and turn into crusty, hardened little sponges?  Now, my Grandpa, mind you, was old, but he still had a spark.  Everyone that knew him loved the guy. He could find the humor in any situation.


Back to the kids...When I started this job, I didn't expect to be climbing up trees and getting blasted by the water hose and chasing escaped kitty cats around the backyard.  I did not anticipate being "taught" ninja moves or being a big, hairy, terrifying monster. I didn't realize how many bags of pirate's booty could possibly be eaten at once.  I didn't expect to be jumped on in my comfortable lounge chair at the swimming pool over and over again so I could tickle someone's feet. I also didn't expect to be called mean or to have to chase a five year old through a busy intersection just because he wasn't listening or paying attention. I thought they would clean up after themselves, eat with manners, and wipe their faces all because I was doing an awesome job.  I thought a lot of things....whether or not I thought I was thinking them.  :)

Basically, I am realizing from these kids that they know how to life LIFE.  They engage with it, every moment of it.  Making them wait around for five minutes is like torture....thats like 12 years in adult time.  When they eat, it gets all over their faces, and they aren't worried about how it makes them look, because they are enjoying it!!! Their smiles are huge and that is all the more charming. :) They climb as high as they can up the trees without worrying about what might happen or how they are going to get down. When they ask you questions, the questions are often very straight forward. When they leave big messes, it is because they are so excited to start the next activity that the thought of slowing down and doing something like "cleaning" doesn't even make sense.  They don't worry about making inappropriate comments, because they are too innocent to realize that what they are saying may or may not be considered "rude" or PC.  They are just being honest....and I love that.  When they play, they aren't afraid that everyone is watching them.  They will enact battle scenes all alone...where they are the hero and they are fighting imaginary beasts.  When they play together, they all feed off of each other's enthusiasm.  :)



I LOVE kids. I could go on forever. I love them because they remind me that life is to be lived, to be engaged in, and to take chances.  I feel like I, too often, am saying things like "Oh be careful!"  "No don't play with the hose because it costs a lot of money to run it and you will be freezing cold and wet!"  "Go play with your friends! (in other words, give me some peace!)"  Give me some peace?!...that doesn't come by not engaging with the kids or saying NO all the time.  Kids know how to PLAY.  And PLAY is what we are missing when we "grow up".  And peace, well, doesn't that come by finding the joy in life and letting go of our worries?  (and by keeping the commandments, of course....)

Anyway, I love my job.  I really do.  And I am thankful to be learning some great life lessons from kids that haven't even "lived life" yet.  Thank goodness for kids!!



8.19.2013

Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk

Today is a stay at home day. :)  I was nauseous all night and woozy in the morning, and now I have all these aches and pains and a fever...so....just hanging out!

Anyone ever get emotional when you feel sick? I feel like such a crybaby today....its the weirdest thing.

This last weekend Rob and I went to Santa Cruz :) It was a blast...and probably where I picked up a bug!  (ironic that I was using hand sanitizer the whole time...and when I was a kid I used to lick the banisters in San Francisco at Pier 39 and never get sick....go figure!)

Oh well!

It was Rob's first time at the Boardwalk!! I was so surprised he had never been!  

 "Flirty"
 Foosball Champ..and I am the worst player ever. He let me win 2 of them.








8.10.2013

Hunter Hayes, please sing to me....

Well, it has been awhile.

I am still not engaged, and that is a-ok.  I am finding that there are a TON of emotions that need to be worked through in this whole process.  I hope Rob is okay with me taking that time.

1. It is really hard to let go of old things.  Really difficult...especially past loves. (There is also a letting go of the "freedom" of being single...we suddenly cannot flirt with every cute guy we see, nor can we feel like we are totally awesome because we get a lot of attention from other guys because we show them our best face all the time...we have to face ourselves a lot more as everything we do now affects someone else.  Its truly a mourning process.) Not only past loves, but expectations and the things you have imagined up in your head all your life about what your future spouse is going to be like. And sometimes when you thought you had the right one, the one that really lights you up, the one you "click" with the most, your 'best friend' ...they don't want you back.  So you have to let that one go and let yourself be excited about someone else...if possible. And it may never be the same.and I don't know if those feelings ever really go away. Maybe it takes awhile.  And I am going to say that is not Peter we are talking about...and Peter, if you are reading this, because I know you will...PLEASE...let me go.  It is never going to happen.  I am sorry, I know that is hard to hear, but I can see who reads my blog.  Please let me go, for your own sake. Take me off of your bar at the top of the screen...cause all you will want to do is click on it and read it and keep yourself crazy....its NOT EVER going to happen.

2.  I have been going pen-crazy. Anyone else love pens? For crying out loud....there are so many I can't fit them into my little pen bucket.  All sorts of colors....Because I LOVE having lots of colors in a journal :)...and in a notebook, and in a planner...and in birthday cards....FANTASTIC!!

3. School is starting on 29th for me...Yippee!! I am stoked.  IT was expensive but...I am so glad I get to start going back again. Driving is going to be a royal pain but.....Ugh....at least I get to learn stuff. Ü

4.  Hunter Hayes....I love you.....you touch my heartstrings!! I know you look like you are 15 but still...

5. And I know this is a very Mormon thing to say but...I want to get into photography :)  It totally fits my personality...love it...

6. Along with photography I have been buying Wedding books....because I think it would be way fun to be a wedding planner!  I don't even know where to start though :)  I guess reading those books is a good start :) 

7.  The things we value in people seem to really change as we get older.  Rob isn't the most "fun"..."playful"..."goofy"....etc guy...but he is very committed, loyal, loving, kind, humble, heartfelt, transparent....and he isn't lacking in those other things, but he isn't exactly brimming over with them either.  He kind of reminds me of the guy on "Love Comes Softly"...so when I see that movie, it makes me appreciate him more because I think to myself.."Oh man..that guy is awesome..I'd marry him!! Oh wait...he's a lot like Rob :)"  (though a good sense of hilarity is definitely needed more often than not....hopefully that comes...lol) 

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