Your war with mortality is over, On to better worlds, Christamae!

This is a post about how wonderful Christamae is. :) 

Christamae was born October 3rd, 1985.  She passed away about 2:30 am, Sunday, November 18, 2012 in Ceres, California, due to complications with a blood infection.  Her passing was quick and traumatic but it was over with in 5 minutes.  

Christamae, in my mind, was always the sparkle to the conversation.  She got right to the point, no beating around the bush for her!  That is one thing I appreciate about her.  She would say what everyone else was thinking.....and then elaborate on it. haha!  Awesome. 

She was/is very opinionated about politics and government, as she was driven by being a voice for good morals and righteousness.  She could see the world going downhill with morals, and she would tell anyone what should and should not be so.  Sometimes I caught myself saying, "what would Christamae do in this situation? What would she say about this?"  because I always knew that she had thought it out thoroughly and with a heart dedicated to doing what was right.  She wasn't worried about what men thought, she was only concerned with pleasing the Lord.

Christamae had a facial expression for everything. She didn't even have to say a word--if you looked at her face, you knew exactly what she was thinking and feeling about something.  

She was always very competitive in games. It was almost hilarious how into it she would get, and how determined she was to win.  She probably could have been a lawyer, as she loved to debate...this definitely came out in playing games with her!!  

She LOVED the LDS temple.  When it got to the point that she couldn't go anymore, she lost a lot of her drive.  She got special permission at age 19 to go through and get her endowments, and I think that really helped her to have the strength she needed to get through the next 8 years of her life.  Before she passed, I told her I would miss her a lot, and she said she would be at the temple and we could all talk to her there. I believe that :)  

She was so good to talk to.  She would listen to your problems and be understanding.  She had a healthy way of interacting with others, good give and take in the conversation.  She really did care about other people despite all the stuff she was going through. And she wasn't afraid to tell people that she was having a bad day.  She sent these long emails to her friends about once a month describing what was going on with her treatments and how rough life was, and though sometimes it brought out sad feelings in the readers, I was grateful that she felt like she could share these things....and then turn around and ask you how YOUR life was, without any judgments or comparisons, and she really did want to know. She spent hours of her time online talking to people who had disabilities or sicknesses and trying to make them feel better.

And some of my favorite conversations with her involved how excited she was about boys....whether boys I liked, or boys she liked.  haha!  She really got into that....especially when she was younger....now that she's gone I'll tell you a secret...when she was in I think 3rd or 4th grade, she had a huge list (23 to be exact) of boys that she had a crush on and why she had a crush on them in this journal/notebook she had.  Hehe! 

Christamae, Danielle, and I used to play every day together after school.  I lived with them for several years on and off. We would hang out at recess if we were on the same playground.  We would play games in the Col-de-Sac outside of their home, draw pictures of our least favorite teachers right behind the van wheels (ok that was more my doing....), and we spent HOURS recording music together.  Every Christmas we recorded a tape for our loved ones for a few years of the songs that we were learning in school and of other Christmas songs that we loved.  The would fight over who got to hang out with me (lol) and we even shared a room for awhile.  All 3 of us.  That definitely brought up some hilarious moments....especially when Danielle would act like she was having a nightmare ("Aah! I am being attacked by a giant crocodile!! Help me! Im having a nightmare!") and Christmae would call her out on it.  "You aren't dreaming.  You are lying.  Lying is wrong, Danielle."  

She LOVED Disney movies, Disney pins...anything Disney!  She loved Disneyworld too! They invited me to go with them but..unfortunately I couldn't afford it :/  It's okay, we will go all together someday. I hope it is open in the Resurrection.  ;)  

Her room is covered in inspirational quotes, pictures of Christ, pictures of the temple, and stuffed animals.  This lady had such faith, such determination, and though times were very trying for her, she didn't lose her faith. She did struggle, but she never lost it. She continuously made good choices and became more and more like Christ.  Someone online said of her, "Christamae, do you realize the name Christ is in your name?" Such a fantastic person and example, and her life will be a legacy to anyone who knew her down through the generations.  

Danielle, her sister, wrote:

"Feels like my heart is pulling apart. Life will be so empty without the best friend, sister, and example a person could ask for. My consolation is knowing she is so much freer and happier now. She was ready to go and had not a single doubt as to what would await her. She had such strong faith. Run, dance, laugh, embrace, sing, and rest in peace Christamae Zimpel"

We will miss you til we see you again! It is not the same without you.  Now we have even more motivation to live our lives the right way. You are finally free from this limiting body.  You can finally have peace. And you don't have to sleep anymore, since you always thought it was such a waste of time.  :)  And I am positive you will meet a wonderful man on the other side ;)  Thanks for your strength and powerful influence!  We love you, Christamae!! 

Coming Back to Myself.....

Not that this is a post all about me.  But kind of it is, I hope whoever reading it can apply it to their own lives, that is why I talk about my life....not to get attention for myself but hopefully to help someone else out there. :)

So, if you've been watching at all, and I don't expect everyone knows all my business or anything, but basically its been a TON of transitions in like a 6 month period.  I was supposed to get married in August, but broke it off at the very end of May.  Decided to move to California last minute (sort of, I had always kept it as a back-up plan...), started school, desperately in need of a better-paying job, moved in with family after being away for 6 plus years on my own....Got here, and everything is falling apart....Christamae is dying, Aunt Mona is dying. Uncle Eric just passed away last week unexpectedly.  It's been crazy....completely out of my control.

I've been going to my ward here in San Francisco and honestly I feel so weird going to a new ward, I dont know ANYONE, I am all extremely shy about getting to know people and don't really have any friends.   I then somehow start hanging out with someone who is a totally kind and thoughtful person, patient, and here I am, totally reeling and freaking out from this last break-up, not feeling like I like who I am anymore, as before I was always the level-headed, patient, kind one that got things done...and I feel like my worst side came out with this last boy.  I mean, I do NOT like who I was with him...and so naturally I start freaking out on this other guy.  He's so nice though....I mean, who knows what will happen but I am grateful that he is, just by his kindness and sincerity and humility, helping me to feel more like my old self and less combative.  I feel like I've got a good friend on my side. And I also realized that I wasn't putting any effort into being a good friend to people in my ward.  (Thanks, RS Presidency, for teaching a lesson last Sunday on making people feel welcome. Just what I needed. :) )

However, i do believe the Lord puts people and experiences in our lives for a reason.  I am grateful for trials because through that relationship, I felt like I had to face some demons in myself.  I felt like it forced me to learn to communicate and to be aware of my own heart.  It also got me interested in being more aware of the world around me, and essentially pushed me into getting my MPA instead of just floating through life blissfully unawares.  Man, its amazing how well the Lord knows us.

 I hope I can keep growing into who He needs me to be, especially in these last days. I am a firm believer that it is indeed the last days, and that our children are going to witness the coming of the Savior maybe even before they become parents.  I believe that our generation will witness it.  No doubt about that.  I hope I can be ready.  And I want to see all my friends there too.  "No Empty Chairs" in the Celestial Kingdom.  Love you all!!

365 Photo Journal....

So I have this idea and dang it, I am going to do it!!!

I want to do a journal...like a regular journal like usual....BUT, I want to commit to writing in it, EVERY day, and for each day, I want to put a picture in it.

Not such a huge feat, right?? Knowing me, I'll get the writing done, maybe....but not do the pictures....so if anyone else wants to join me, maybe we can make it a goal to check up on each other and make sure we are staying on task!!  Wouldn't that be fun to have a whole year to look back on?? With PICTURES??? its like your own little movie!! Yessss...Let me know if you are interested!!

<3 p="p" shayna="shayna">

On Civil Unions...getting a little political....

Life has been pretty good lately.  I need to get more organized with school because it is getting crazy....Actually, I need to just get back INTO school.  It's tough when you've been away for several years to get back into the swing of it.  I don't love my classes, but I am hoping that when I come out of this degree, I'll be able to do some good things and be an instrument for righteous and true principles in the world.

This brings me to a conversation I had last night with someone.  We were talking about civil unions for homosexual couples.  Now, I don't want to get all political on you, but when I thought about it, I realized that  though the Church only specifies that we fight for MARRIAGE as being defined between a man and a woman, I think the principle behind it is so very important.  Marriage, to me, is a very sacred union between a man and a woman.  Everyone doesn't honor it as such, but it ought to be as so.  In fact, relationships themselves are incredibly sacred, and they are one of the only things we can take back to Heaven with us.  The whole Plan of Salvation is built on the idea of bringing our families, together, back to our Father's presence through repentance and the Atonement of Jesus Christ and ordinances of the gospel, and living there as families forever.  Homosexuality, though I absolutely LOVE my gay friends, is not OK.  The act of it is not OK.  Having homosexual tendencies is not wrong.  Just like having a temptation to smoke pot or have sex outside of marriage is not wrong.  But actually doing it? Not good....

Now,  on to Civil Unions:  according to About.com, "Definition: Civil unions are legal contracts between partners that are recognized by a state or government as conferring all or some of the rights conferred by marriage, but without the implicit historical and religious meaning associated with the word "marriage."

Civil Unions, though not defined as a "marriage" in the religious meaning, still give them benefits and essentially its like being married without using the word "marriage"....they can have their cake and eat it too. Benefits, to me, are like rewards.  I don't get benefits of being married because I am not married.  It would be fantastic to have health insurance right now....maybe I should get married so I can have health insurance and tax breaks. Hmm. Anyone out there wanna get married? ;)  Benefits are given to ENCOURAGE behavior.  Let's face it, that is one way the government does in fact try to sway us to do things.  I don't want to encourage their behavior.  At all.

Let's not forget, too, that gay couples cannot have children, its just not biologically possible...another reason why marriage between man and woman is so important.  That relationship is the hearth of the home, and children benefit from having the influence of a good man and a good woman in their lives. Men and women do, in fact, contribute in different ways to the growth and development to their children.  If gay couples, whether by civil union or marriage, are then given the right to adopt children, that is going to really interfere with the development of that child.  (and why would they not allow them to adopt children if they have already allowed them the same OTHER benefits of marriage??) Totally goes against my grain....I really feel strongly about this.

Anyway, just some thoughts for your day.  I would like to get the opinion of my other friends on this topic, so any comments would be great! :)