One of those books you hide while you read ....

As I left for the gym, I realized the book I was reading could be potentially dangerous if spotted by any of the wrong eyes...especially guys' eyes!  It's called "An LDS Girl's Guide to Getting a Date" by Dr. Brent Barlow.   So I wrote some fake "to-do" lists on a few pieces of post-it-note paper and stuck them all over the cover.  

(yes, that does in fact say, "the ACT formula and Other Surefire Methods for Catching a Man")

Amazing little book it is, and though the title is kind of embarrassing, the book is about much more than getting a date.  It is short, sweet, and to the point, and helps you to think about dating and relationships in a more positive and proactive way.  

One of my favorite chapters is called "A Mental Makeover."  There is one sentence that seemed to hit home...it says, "If your own self worth is low, you may have a difficult time focusing on the positive attributes of others because you are so preoccupied with your own imperfections..."  He then challenges us girls to think about the things that we like about ourselves and that we could offer someone in a relationship.  He says that when we learn to love ourselves, then others will come to love us.  

Now, I am not someone who thinks its good to sit around thinking how amazing I am all the time--in fact, I think a lot of LDS women get down on themselves for everything because they are TRYING not to be high-and-mighty, among other reasons such as comparing themselves to others (which is a big one).  I tried making the list....Do I like my personality?  No, I'm boring and quiet and grumpy-looking....do I like how I treat others?  Sometimes, but I'm not the best...Do I like the way I am with my family? Yeah, I guess, but I could do better... Well, then it went to the "My hair is blah, my nose is big, my lips are thin, my skin is awful ...my big thighs..UGH!! There's a reason I have the nickname "ghetto booty"...my feet are wide ...my skin will NOT tan, my teeth aren't as white as so-and-so, why am I not as happy and friendly as so-and-so...the list went on and on and on...and on.....it was pretty eye opening in that I could not find a single thing that I liked about myself.  Even the things that I thought could be potential strengths I found something wrong with.  (sad, huh! Don't feel too bad for me :)   )  

Well, after that realization how much I didn't like myself, I almost cried with relief that Dr. Barlow said that we SHOULD like ourselves.  Yeah, I know, crazy huh! Since I am always telling girls that they ought to like themselves, I myself didn't realize how much I wasn't following my own advice!  YOU try making that list...The next few days I tried really hard to make mental lists of the things I DO like, even if I had to make some up, and you know what?  All the things that I said I didn't like are slowly coming to be not so bad.  I feel a lot happier, and it wasn't because I was telling myself that I SHOULD be happy, and it wasn't because I was all of a sudden becoming perfect in all the things that I didn't like--it was because I was telling myself that I am worth something, and that happiness is naturally coming as a result.   Not only that, but my cynical and sarcastic humor isn't really wanting to emerge (gasp!), nor is my teasing wit....(which sometimes I think is fun, but not at the expense of others).   I realized that I have also come to see the good in others a lot easier--its like a breath of clean, wonderful air with great potential for love and life.  And you know what?  There are a lot of good people in this world, and I can be one of them.  :)  

LIke I said, please don't feel bad for me or whatever, seriously we all say these things to ourselves, but please remember that there is always something good about you, and the Lord has commanded us to love ourselves.  Part of pride, as stated by President Benson, is seen when we degrade ourselves, even though we often associate it with thinking we are the best person ever.  

Anyway, thats my rant for the day.  :)  Have a GREAT weekend!  

-shayna