Dating Can Be a Challenge!

So, as many of you know, or maybe you don't know, I'm dating a mister Peter Decker.  This has been going on for about 3 months now.  I NEVER EVER expected to be dating him. Ever. lol.  And yet I'm going to meet his family on Thanksgiving....eek!  I've already met his brother and sister-in-law, and his oldest sister and her family.  I'm coming to enjoy all of our game nights at his brother's house.  They are pretty hilarious when you get them together....

Peter treats me really well. And this is why I like him.  He's a kind person....despite his intermittent annoyances with certain people--and occassionally his annoyances with just people in general.  He has a quirky sense of humor--and just the other day I was asking myself why on earth I am dating a guy who is getting distracted by listening to all the ogre and troll belching noises from some video game called Starcraft or whatever....lol...but he's very kind to me. Even if I am rude to him or critical. He's kind.

That brings me to another point. Me and Peter are both similar and very different.  For example, we are both pretty stubborn. I'm not so sure this is a good thing. Haha!  For another thing, we both value education and being prepared for the future.  We both value intimacy in relationships (I mean, emotional intimacy...cuddling isn't so bad either :)  We both come from families we love (accept his isn't all divorced and all over the place--his parents are still happily married and his siblings are happily married from what I understand...)  We both like to work out and stay healthy, both want a happy family, both love the gospel...we also have both worked in facilities with troubled youth.  He got his degree in Psychology, I got mine in marriage, family, and human development. So we are similary interested in people.  We are also both pretty frugal--I think he may even be more frugal than me!  (I admit I've loosened up quite a bit in this arena in the last couple of years) We also both moved around a lot as kids. And we work through our problems pretty well I think. 

We are different in sooo many ways though as well, and this causes quite a bit of conflict between us.  For example, just on Sunday, there were tons of things going on as usual.  Lots of gatherings of people--ward prayer, meetings, a party after ward prayer for a sister in our ward..I wanted to go to all of them and mingle with all the people.  I feel like I get socially starved during the week.  Though I really enjoy my time with Peter, I really enjoy my time with other people as well.  Peter, on the other hand, is more of a small-crowd person.  He prefers the intimacy of one-on-one interaction or just being with close friends. He figures, I have my girl, so what is the point in interacting with all of those OTHER people that he isn't close to, and who frankly annoy him?   This causes a conflict mostly because our inherent belief of why we socialize in this gospel is different. (ex:  I think that we all have a responsibility to be a friend to everyone, especially at this time in our life when there are many lonely people around us who can very easily slip off the gospel path. and Im thinking we shouldn't get so annoyed with people but find things to love about them...and he's thinking, we are supposed to be focused on our family, not everyone else) We also have a very different sense of humor.  He laughs at things that I think are not all that funny.....and when I tell my sarcastic jokes like "I hope you have an AWFUL day!"  he calls me a jerk.  haha  So I get mad at him for getting so annoyed with people..and I get frusterated sometimes at how we look at things so differently (which comes from the way we were both raised I imagine).  He's super nice to me and I, well, I feel like I tend to be more critical.  Maybe this comes from fears?  I laugh at the things that are difficult....he withdraws and feels depressed.  I want to live in California, he wants Missouri.  I like music that makes me want to dance, he likes music that matches his mood or that is a little more serious (and that kind of music gets me down sometimes).  I am a dreamer and idealist, he is definitely not. haha.  I want to play in the rain and laugh through life, and he's focused on the more serious things.  (I'm not sure playing in the rain would be very fun for him...lol) He's timley and efficient and to the point, and sometimes can come across as being hard nosed and wanting to be in charge of everything.  I'm like, lets enjoy the moment! 

But he's so sweet!  And all the people in my ward just tell me that he's "so nice".  I don't even ask their opinion.  They just tell me. :) 

I guess this is why dating is stressful sometimes...but I imagine no matter who you date or marry, you will have differences.  Trying to take two people who come from different families, backgrounds, cultures (even though we are both American, our family cultures are different) and blend them into one requires a lot of personal changing.  I might have to start laughing at those troll farts (oh...forgive me...OGRE..) oh man...and I might have to start enjoying video games (which I feel suck out my brain cells) and maybe even learn to play chess (yes, my friends, he says chess is one of his passions....I guess it could be worse ;)  haha)  and if I marry him I'll have to get used to snoring (one of my pet peeves) lol.....

but what can I say? we are both stubborn....I just hope and pray that we can figure out a way to blend all of this together....lol! 

Have an AWFUL day!  ;)