What? Yes I have come to this realization as of late. NOT PERFECT! Holy crap.
I even almost swore the other day...my roommate was talking and I was like "What the H....."I mean, where did THAT come from? And I had just gotten out of the Temple. HA!
Obviously, I already have known, for quite some time, that I am not perfect.
I guess this whole Peter thing has opened up my eyes to some things about myself....namely, my impetuous perfectionism, not only with myself, but with my companion and family...future family, that is. Just how I was with my family in the past. I should have known I am still the same person I was when I was 13 and yelling at my brother for disrupting scripture study....a scripture study that I (oh mighty one) had orchestrated myself, not any parental figure, so of course he was being a thug. I still feel bad about that to this day and think that I ruined any love he may have had for the scriptures....
Anyway, I guess this is a good reminder that even the "best" of us need a Savior. Because if I am walking around demanding perfection from everyone else, and not forgiving them for past mistakes, who am I? Someone with a shriveled up little heart that cannot forgive or have patience or love or kindness....Hello, that's the whole essence of Christ. I feel like such a heel.....And yet I am grateful for this soul-shaking awakening of my utter vulnerability and dependence on God. I hope I can figure out how to be a better companion and let OTHER people need God and forgiveness as well (because, though they may have sinned differently than me, MY sin is to judge, which is considered the greater sin.). Or else why would anyone EVER want to marry me?? I wouldn't.
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