My Week Without Facebook

"I'm not getting on Facebook this week."

"You aren't getting on Facebook ALL WEEK??"

"Yeah.  Wait, isn't that awful that a whole week without Facebook seems like a difficult thing?"

"Hmm....."

(Actual conversation.)

What IS it about this website that has everyone hooked?!  (for me its mostly boredom...) How do YOU know you have a problem with Facebook?  Well, for starters, when you are going throughout your day, and if you catch yourself thinking, "Oooh!  I should change my status to _______, yeah! That would be an awesome status!"  or if you find yourself writing things every twenty minutes. "Curling my hair, gettin ready for my big date!"  "Just bought a pair of skinny jeans! Oh they make me look so fat!"  "Talking to my sister, man I'm lucky to have such a great sister!" "I just slipped on my way down the stairs, stupid snow!"  

Then there's the, "How is so-and-so doing?"  "Oh, I don't know! She hasn't been on facebook for like 3 days!  She must have dropped off the planet!"  "Did you try calling her?"  "Well, no....."

Or perhaps you find yourself stalking that guy from class, or spending hours trying to find him through common friends, so you go through a million webs, and in the process you have added like twenty new people (as well as looked at all their 667 pictures they have posted), because then you can catch up on all the gossip, you can ask so-and-so if he has ever mentioned you, and of course everyone reads everything about YOU cause you are the star of your own Facebook.  And the more comments you get, the more popular you are, the more witty you must be, and the more "invites" end up on your homepage.  

So, what's wrong with all this positive affirmation?  Who DOESN'T like to feel important?  Who DOESN'T want to be in the loop? Well, take a look at yourself from an outside perspective.  Are you actually talking to anyone?  No, you are sitting at your computer, staring at a screen all by yourself (or with a friend right next to you doing the exact same thing, if your apartment or home is anything like mine), having imaginary conversations with pictures of people making goofy, unrealistic faces.  Gone are the vocal inflections, the lulls in conversation, the body language...and pretty soon you are imaging up how you think the person on the other end is responding to your comments, and naturally, you imagine it in your favor.  Take this example:

Girl:  "Hey! Hows it going??"

Boy: (ten minutes later) "Oh, hi. :)"  (translation:  OOHHH!!! HEEEYYYY YOU ARE SOO FINE! (you got that from the smiley face) I was taking my time cause I wanted to keep you waiting, cause i really like you but didn't want to appear too eager, plus you will want me more if you have to wait.")

Now, obviously, you can see how THAT scenario could go dreadfully wrong...But how ELSE is this becoming a danger to our very relationships and interactions?  May I ask you how long you actually spend with people, in person, versus chatting with them on Facebook?  I tell you what, when I went home for a week and didn't see my friends in person, but chatted with them all week on facebook and texts, I felt so awkward seeing them face-to-face and kind of forgot how to just be normal around them.  It was like, "Oh wow, now you see me, live, in person, as I really am.  Are you still going to be my friend, now that you see all my flaws and weaknesses?"  What happens when you are in a committed relationship and you are too scared to be yourself because all this time you have projected some persona via virtual world, aka, make-it-into-what-you-wish-you-were world?

May I ask the last time you felt lonely even when you were "chatting" with someone?  Oh, it happens to me all the time.  There is just ample more realistic fulfillment from face-to-face, nitty-gritty, real-life, get-into-arguments, face lighting up, etc. communication.  We also improve our ability to socialize in real life, thus helping us in marital relationships, gaining and keeping worthwhile employment, etc.   And who doesn't like to see someone cracking up from some joke you told?  Or being comforted from a loving arm around the shoulder?  Or wiping a tear from a child?  Well, I tell you what, you wont HAVE a child to wipe a tear from if you are spending your life on Facebook dreaming of some person that isn't even there...what, are you gonna marry some person that you have mostly been chatting with over a virtual, unrealistic world?  Not me!...and maybe this entire blog post is based on my own experience because these ARE things that I know I struggle with, because I am naturally a very shy person and feel way more comfortable expressing myself in writing, or in other words, NOT face-to-face...because I would probably start shaking, crying, and wanting to throw up if I had to talk about something difficult, or even just being my real self around people because of that fear of unacceptance.  So don't feel like you are being judged ;)  

Anyways, that was my tangent, and that is why I am getting off Facebook this week....and to be honest, I haven't even missed it.  Stalking boys, yes I have missed indeed, but deep inside I know how much torture that actually is. haha, especially since most of the time they don't even know you, but you sure know them.....and thats just plain creepy and sickening......